Every semester, I give my college students the same essay question on the midterm: “Tell me in your own words about one of the Gospel passages we read and the message you got from it.” And every semester without fail, at least 1/3 of the class will pick the story of Jesus with the woman who had been caught in adultery.
In this story, a woman is accused of adultery and brought before Jesus. The leaders are using her as a way to test Him – they don’t actually care about her. Jewish law of the time stated she should be stoned to death, but that goes against His teaching on mercy, so no matter what He says, they can trap Him. Jesus instead outsmarts them by replying, “Let you who are without sin cast the first stone.” In other words, He’s telling them not to judge others until they’re without sin themselves. (John 8:11)
The majority of those who pick it say it speaks to them because they believe strongly in not judging other people.
Which none of us want to be. Even non-Christians repel this kind of attitude. This is a good thing until this attitude trends so far into “not judging” someone that we aren’t allowed to even believe something different than the other. The “you do you” mentality reigns.
As the conversation goes deeper, we begin to dissect that one of their main problems with religion is not wanting to offend other people with morality, the determination of right and wrong. From a place of kindness, we don’t want to offend LGBTQ friends or atheist family members by what could seem like imposing their beliefs on others.
Maybe you’ve felt the same way. It’s one thing to accept a set of beliefs, but isn’t it offensive to try and push beliefs on others as well? Isn’t saying something is right or wrong judging other people for their actions?
Here’s what I tell my class: there’s a difference between religion and the people who follow that religion.
When I see someone speeding on the highway, I think that their behavior is wrong. However, I do not take it upon myself to pull them over and reprimand them – after all, I’m not a police officer, so I don’t have any authority to do so. It’s not my place to judge them.
It’s the same for religion: Just because I am following a certain moral code doesn’t mean I have the authority to reprimand others for not doing so as well.
Holding a certain set of beliefs is about me and my actions, not about critiquing others’ performance of them.
This doesn’t mean that religion is inherently offensive for having rules and morality; most organizations do, from the government to homeowners’ associations and everything in between. However, it should be up to the leaders of those organizations (in Christianity’s case, God!) to make judgments related to those rules.
At times, especially as Christians, it can seem as though even holding certain beliefs that are countercultural come off as judgemental. If I believe in marriage between man and a wife, will someone I meet who believes differently feel judged by me?
But having different beliefs is the nature of our world and it’s diversity, not a judgement on someone's actions.
We don’t have to abandon what we believe in order to fit in societally.
Of course, many religious people want to share their religion with others because they have found happiness in it – that’s okay. Think about the latest movie you watched or book you read that changed your life; of course you’re going to want to tell others about it. You probably don’t focus on how long it was or the cost of it though – rather, you focus on the joy it brought you.
Sometimes, people take this too far. Chances are we’ve all met a religious person who fits the stereotypical representation of a cantankerous, stuffy, and judgmental person of faith. They’re quick to tell you (or anyone who will listen) all of the things that you’re doing that they don’t believe are right.
In looking at the Bible, that’s actually not the example of religious fervor. Jesus included many references in His teaching to not being judgmental. He quips that judging others is like pointing out the splinter in someone else’s eye when you have a beam in your own. (Matthew 7:3)
As we look back at the story of the woman caught in adultery, Jesus’ response to her is just as telling as His response to her accusers. He asks if anyone has condemned her, and when she says no, he replies: “Then neither do I. Go and sin no more.” He doesn’t hide His view from her - adultery is wrong - but He puts love and mercy first. If we pause and look really closely at the life of Jesus, we see that to be religious is actually the epitome of not judging others.
He sought out those that were judged by society in order to love them. He fought for a world that brought everyone into a place of belonging.
So what does that look like for us in everyday life? Before we get into the do’s and don’t of what everyone should be doing, we have to know Jesus. Get to know His character. Understand how He loved. Pray for opportunities of conversation rather than call-out’s. Pray for your own heart to be one of empathy and understanding with those you don’t align with. Bring every heartache and desire for justice back to Him in prayer before we step out on our own. Drawing closer to Christ Himself helps us discover how to love people without pointing fingers.
It’s by coming to know Jesus better than we realize: religion and judgement are fundamentally at odds. Religious people who exude judgement are not a good representation of who Jesus is. As we develop our relationship with Christ, we come to find that we can love others through Him—no judgement necessary.